Bury Me Alive
by Nesma
Summary: Sirius Black was probably the most brilliant wizard ever alive. Though he was known in Hogwarts for his deftness with spells and hexes and potions, he simply thought his original ideas were the best. Like when he charmed his motorcycle to fly. Or, at this very moment, when he thought of the perfect and best way to foil the plan of you-know-who.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Bury Me Alive  
**Author**: Nesma  
**A/N**: Right, well, I got bored and took a study break. And quite honestly, I like the second part more than I like this one. But ah well.

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Sirius Black was probably the most brilliant wizard ever alive. Though he was known in Hogwarts for his deftness with spells and hexes and potions, he simply thought his original ideas were the best. Like when he charmed his motorcycle to fly. Or, at this very moment, when he thought of the perfect and best way to foil the plan of you-know-who. And he couldn't _wait _to tell James and Lily because it was quite genius.

Though, he supposed that he should have called a formal meeting with Dumbledore and the other Order members, he simply couldn't wait which resulted with Sirius Black crashing through Godric's Hallows front door yelling throughout the house.

"JAMES! I'M YOUR BEST MATE!"

He yelled (maybe in a sing song voice) until he found the Potters in the kitchen enjoying a nice cup of tea. Both wide eyed, and Lily gave James a look with raised eyebrows that clearly communicated her hunch that Sirius Black was absolutely _mad. _

James just coughed, agreeing silently with his wife while clutching his mug. "I know you're my best mate – hence why I made you _god father _of my son." James said quite seriously, tilting his head and smirking a bit as if he had just disproved the main laws of transfiguration.

Sirius rolled his eyes and grabbed the nearest chair, swung it around so that it was backwards, and plopped himself on it. Resting his arms on the back of the chair while staring earnestly at Prongs.

"_Everyone _knows that I'm your best mate. Severus Snape. Rosmerta. Dumbledore. Hagrid. The Ministry of Magic. St. Mungos. Everyone knows!" Sirius said calmly, trying to stress on the fact that _everyone _knows that they were best mates.

"What are you getting at Black?" Lily asked, her eyes narrowing as Sirius made an exasperated face. He thought they were brilliant. Shouldn't they know what he's hinting at?

"When you two go into hiding, who do you think they'll go afterwards?" Sirius asked and at this point, both James and Lily looked at one another with that 'aha' look on their face. Finally. They get it.

"Now. What if, we switch the secret keeper? We can do Wormtail! No one would ever think we choose Wormtail! They'd think you two would use Dumbledore or McGonagall before you'd use Peter!" Sirius explained in a rush as Lily stared rather hard at her tea while James gave Sirius a curious look.

"Sirius… the charm, it's going to go into effect by tomorrow. If we even think to consider-"

"We're not changing secret keepers." Lily said harshly, cutting off James and giving him a withering look. "Unless Sirius wants out." Lily just as bitterly and turned to give Sirius a look that made his bones shiver. He took a gulp.

"I don't want an out. I would do anything for you two. Believe me, the amount of stupid things I've done to amuse Prongs boy over here is astounding. I want to protect you two. But I think there is a flaw in the current plan. I think that I'll be an obvious target." Sirius explained quietly, moving his hands around and hoping that they wouldn't see them shake. It _was _a good plan. "I think that if there was a different secret keeper, it'll be harder to find you two. Because then there is the challenge as to _who _the Potters trust. Do you see?" Sirius asked hopefully while Lily shook her head.

"No! Sirius! No! You've-you've proven yourself to us over and over to us… I don't, I don't know who else to trust. And Peter-"

"Peter is one of my oldest friends." James said quietly, staring up from his own tea and looking at Lily. "I've known him since childhood."

"I've known Severus since I was eleven, does that make him an adequate substitution?" Lily snapped back.

James snorted and pushed his mug away to cross his arms. "Don't you compare your Death Eater friend to Peter. Peter would _die _before ratting us out."

Lily raised her eyebrows and crossed her own arms. "And Remus? You're saying he wouldn't be as loyal?"

And Sirius and James made the foolish mistake of looking at one another.

It was hard to explain how Remus had morphed in the past year or so. It wasn't that he was getting thinner (truth) or the bags under his eyes were getting darker (also the truth) or any physical altercations that were a giveaway. It was the mere fact that the fire within him had gone out and it felt like a harsh, cold, bitterness took its place.

It was the fact that in Hogwarts, Remus would mutter darkly about the underground werewolves. How they were ruining his chances. How he could never understand why anyone would want to join them. He didn't understand them and that was fine.

But since he went undercover, the mutterings have stopped but the dark looks and bitter remarks against the Order begun. He was defending the pact he was a part a bit too much. He was paranoid and kept asking when, where, and why whenever any social gathering of any sort took place. He always wanted to know and the desire, the sheer desperation was scary. His hunger for knowledge, information was enough for Sirius to always keep his wand nearby when he was with Moony.

"What's going on with Remus?" Lily asked slowly and James broke the gaze to stare at Lily. He gave a sigh and that was enough for Lily to angrily push herself away from the table and almost throw her mug in the sink.

"We've been _over _this James. He wouldn't do anything –" She leaned over the sink, back facing the two men.

"You haven't known him as long as we have!"

"Oh, and you're the experts of Remus J. Lupin now?" Lily spat out angrily, turning on her heel and biting furiously on her lip.

James gave another sigh, a gentler one rather than the one before, "Enough to know that something's off. To know not to put all owls in his basket." James said in a defeated tone. "He's a good guy Lily, and I know he'd do the right thing… but there's something in him that makes me think he's thinking of turning. Maybe he has and maybe he isn't… but he's struggling and I'm not about to put more pressure on him." James said quietly, giving Lily a pleading look who still looked furious.

"And you'd trust Peter for this task?" Lily asked, and Sirius knew she was at her breaking point. By the way she was shifting her weight from foot to foot and how she wasn't biting on her lip too hard.

Lily was a good person, which would explain _why _she rushed to Moony's defense; she can't imagine him going back. Even Severus she tends to hold back on: though she agrees that he's gone astray and is awful and selfish… she still gives a sigh and says at the end, 'he _was _a good person.' She still sees the good in every person. Well. Nearly.

"Lily, I swear, I think… I think this has a shot of working. Just. Try to think like a Death Eater. Who would you go after? Me. Once you have the person… the information can be extracted unwillingly." Sirius said softly before looking down at the table.

It was a simple pattern of leaves and vines entwining. He mocked Lily for months over it but it's trademark of the kitchen now. And Sirius can't help but trace how the vines loop over one another. "I'd do anything for you two. For Harry." He said quietly, not sure if he could look at the two, he licked his lips and continued on, finding the courage to look at James.

"You're a brother to me. Your parents were my parents… Sunday dinners were something I looked forward to. You took me in when no one else did. We've gone through so much together at Hogwarts. With the war. With… everything." And Sirius felt something catch in his throat and he didn't know how to swallow it away and he could tell by Lily's sniffling that she had already started to cry (and he couldn't look at her crying) so he diverted his gaze on the table cloth.

"I just… I want to keep this family alive so badly. And I don't… I don't think I can do that if I'm the secret keeper. I think I have to be on the sidelines and let Peter do it." Which wasn't easy to admit because, frankly, Sirius wanted the glory of sticking his neck out and going above and beyond. He wanted to save James. And Lily. And Harry.

But the trail between him and Potters is too short, and if he could buy their side more time to track _him _down… why wouldn't he do it? Why wouldn't he save the Potters?

"I'm _begging _you to choose Wormtail over me. He'll do a good job. I'll watch over him." Sirius said stiffly before looking up to Lily's face.

She had silent tears but a determined look on her face. She was nodding slightly and she broke the gaze for a fraction of a second. "Okay." She whispered and James repeated it again hoarsely.

"We trust you." James said sternly and Lily started to full out cry and ran into Sirius arms and cried into his chest. She kept on whispering, "We do, _I _do." Sirius rubbed her back slightly while giving a force laugh, trying to stifle the fear that was crawling up this throat.

"Or course you do, I am rather brilliant…" He muttered and Lily choked on her tears and laughed for a bit. The three of them in the kitchen with the dratted table cloth, the sun spilling in and the last of the rays clutching to the tree branch.

And he was relieved above all else. Because this plan, it was going to work. Who'd go after Wormtail? The list of secret keepers who would be willing to risk their lives was long and included top wizards and witches. And they'd all have the last laugh since Wormtail would have the honor and _no one _would know. Except the four of them.

After the war, he and James agreed that it'll be hilarious. They'd laugh in you-know-whose face and it was going to be _brilliant. _And everyone would be shocked at the plot twist but it was going to work and that's all that matters. And all because Sirius Black had the brilliant idea.

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	2. Chapter 2

Title: Bury Me Alive  
Author: Nesma  
A/N: This is the part that I love most about this piece. Hope you like it too and leave a review if you're so kind!

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Lily whispers "We do, _I _do" every night in his prison cell. Every night he feels her tears seeping through his shirt (is it blood? Merlin he wishes he was bleeding to death) and he keeps on hearing the choked tears and the "We do, I do" with every heartbeat. He can't go to sleep with her whispers because they are amplified in his head and he can't seem to turn off her voice.

He curls up into the corner and tries to regulate his breathing. Tries to calm down. Calm down. He doesn't understand why his heart pounds on when it feels like it's shredding itself in a million tiny different pieces. He can't sleep. He can't sleep. Merlin, he just wants to sleep.

But he doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't. Once he falls asleep he's back at the kitchen table tracing the vines with the last rays of sunshine clinging to the trees. There's dead James, blood running down his face telling him "We trust you." Over and over and over and over until he slumps back on his chair and the light in his eyes are gone and Sirius can only run out of the house but then he runs in to _him _and suddenly the streets are crowded.

There's screaming from Peter, he looks scared and petrified but his smile, _fuck his smirk _gives him away. There's a hint of madness in his voice and the smile makes it worse. And Sirius was too late, far too late again, to realize what was going on. And then there's an explosion and more screams and blood, Merlin, blood everywhere that pools around his feet. And there's dead bodies everywhere, everywhere, and he never meant for the Potters to die or for those muggles to die or for Harry to be an orphan. And underneath the rubble he can hear the squeaks of rat, laughing mirthlessly before transforming into Peter Pettigrew giving him a wicked grin and it makes his blood go cold and he can't help but _scream_.

But the relief of being awake is only granted for a second. His heart pounding, deep breaths, and suddenly the whispers are back (We do, _I _do. We do, _I _do. We do, _I _do) and he can't breathe even though he's torn his shirt to free his chest but he can't breathe and he's hoping that one of these days Lily and James will choke him to death in his sleep, in his dreams, or in the day. He hopes they get the luxury and not Peter_._

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A/N: Leave a review! They are very nice to read…


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